College Life Tips: Building a Positive Friend Circle for Growth

A. Introduction

Vivek’s first day of college… excitement was at its peak. He had big dreams, a little fear, and a passion to start a new story. He found a group within the first week itself — loud laughter, weekend plans, and endless gossip. I thought, “This is the perfect college life!”

Everything seemed fun in the beginning. But slowly, late-night parties replaced study hours. Sarcasm replaced motivation. Assignments were at the last moment, and self-confidence slowly started to diminish. He was not able to recognize himself.

Then one day he noticed another group. They were not very popular, nor were they highlighted everywhere, but their consistency was different. Helpful, focused, and serious about their goals. They also had fun, but their priorities were clear.

That day Vivek thought – “If I had chosen to be with these people from the beginning, my story would have been different.”

It is a truth of college life that your circle shapes your thoughts, habits, and future. The question is – are you in the right circle?

B. The Influence of Your Circle

In college your environment is not limited to just classrooms – the groups around you, your conversations, and your daily vibes together shape you.

There is a famous quote:

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn

Think… if you spend a lot of your time with people who complain all the time, complain about society, college, parents, gossip, or just waste time, then slowly your mindset also becomes like that. This has a strong impact on your thoughts, and gives shape to your character.

In Psychology, this concept is called social proof and peer influence. Meaning, we set our standards by looking at the people around us.

• If the standard of the group is high (focus on studies, career planning, positive thinking), then you too will naturally uplift yourself.

• And if the standard of the group is low (bunking classes, negativity, aimless timepass), then you will start falling down, whether you like it or not.

Real Life Example:

I remember a student who had come to prepare for competitive exam. Initially he was an average performer, but he formed his own group with people who would study 3-4 hours extra daily, exchange notes, and challenge each other in mock tests. In just 6 months his score got doubled – only because he chose his circle wisely.

This is true – friends can be your fuel or your brakes. You have a choice.

C. Why the Right Circle Matters

Real college life is not like it is shown in movies. In the classroom, there is more of making fun of the teacher than studying, the hero and heroine keep singing songs. But in real life, things are different, friendship in college life is not just for fun and time pass – it decides your habits, thinking and future direction. Your circle impacts you in three ways:

1. Academic Influence – The level of studies is decided

• If your group regularly attends classes, makes notes, and revises, then you will naturally become disciplined.

• But if the focus of the group is bunking and last-minute preparation, you will not even reach half of your potential.

Example: Many times it is seen that when a group is preparing for a competitive exam, the whole group qualifies with good rank, although it is possible that some people in it are average or below average.

2. Emotional Impact – How to handle stress

• Ups and downs are normal in college – pressure of exams, family expectations, sometimes personal issues.

• Positive circle will motivate you, will find solutions.

• Negative circle will only complain and make you feel heavier.

“A good friend is not one who just parties, he is one who pushes you to your best version.”

3. Future Networking – Career ka Strong Base

• The friends who are with you today, can become colleagues, business partners, or professional contacts in the industry tomorrow.

• Right circle = long-term career advantage.

Example: An M. Pharm student got entry in a reputed pharma company through his UG friend – only because the friendship was maintained and both had a growth-oriented mindset.

D. Signs You’re in the Wrong Circle

Sometimes we do not understand directly whether we are in the wrong company or not. But there are always some red flags which you cannot ignore.

1. You feel tired every time

• After spending time with them, you feel drained instead of getting an energy boost.

• Meaning, they are not eating your fuel, but your battery.

• At times you will feel like running away from your own presence, and these things can take you towards addiction.

2. You have to compromise your values

• Just to “fit in”, you are doing things which you would not normally do.

• Example: Bunking, unnecessary parties, or bullying someone just because of group pressure.

3. Conversation is 90% gossip or negativity

• Most of the things are such that they pull others down, constructive discussion is less.

• Complaints are received instead of motivation.

4. Jealousy on your success, not celebration

• If you clear an exam or have an achievement, their reaction is sarcasm with “Congrats”.

• Real friends are genuinely happy for you.

5. Your goals are a joke to them

• Whenever you share your dreams or career goals, they either find it funny or discourage it.

“Pay attention to your friends — are they clapping for you, or waiting for you to fail?”

D. How to Choose the Right Circle

Choosing the right friend is a skill — and in college this skill decides your career, personality, and confidence.

1. Values match

• Choose people who value education, honesty, and personal growth.

• Having fun is a must, but priorities should be clear.

• People whose “why” matches yours

2. Focus on actions, not just words

• See how they behave:

Do they attend class or just make excuses?

Do they make consistent efforts towards their goals or just talk?

3. Problem-Solver Mentality

• It is always a safe bet to be with those friends who think “what can we do” when the situation gets tough.

• Maintain distance from complainants.

4. Mutual Encouragement

• You motivate the people of your circle, they motivate you.

• There should be healthy competition, but not jealousy.

5. Create a Diverse Circle

• Do not limit it to just your class/branch.

• Connect with people with a different mindset by participating in cultural committees, sports, academic clubs.

Example: A student whose CGPA was average, changed his group and started group study with some people who had a special clarity for their future. He started getting better results within 1 semester itself – only because the level of daily discussion and motivation changed.

E. What to Do If You’re Already in a Negative Circle

It is not easy to get out of the wrong circle, especially when you are emotionally attached. But taking this step is necessary for the future.

1. Reduce Time Gradually

• Sudden breaks can lead to unnecessary drama, so spend less time with them gradually.

• Excuse: “I have to complete my assignment”, “I have a test coming up”, “I am working on the project” — these are genuine reasons.

2. Join new activities

• Sports, cultural committees, study groups, online courses — participate in them so that you can automatically meet new people.

3. Shift focus to your goals

• When you invest your energy in studies, skills and hobbies, your mindset naturally changes and the old group patterns no longer seem attractive.

4. Be polite but firm

• If they try to pull you back, politely refuse.

• “I have to focus a little on my exams” – such clear statements help.

5. Take the company of mentors or positive seniors

• Seniors with a positive mindset not only give you guidance, but through their circle you get new inspiring friends.

“Every exit is a way to a better entry – you just need courage.”

F. Building a Positive Circle

Getting the right circle is sometimes a matter of luck, but in most cases you have to create it consciously.

1. Identify like-minded people

• People who are serious about their goals, believe in self-improvement.

• Start spending more time with them — library sessions, group discussions, project work.

2. Mix of Peers, Mentors & Seniors

• Peers: Those of your age-group who study with you and motivate you.

• Mentors: Those who show you the right direction.

• Seniors: Those whose experiences can help you avoid mistakes.

3. Make a Growth Pact

• Set up a “growth pact” with 2–3 friends from your close circle:

o Learn a new skill every week

o Challenge each other in mock tests

o Negativity-free conversations

4. Celebrate Each Other’s Wins

• Celebrate even small achievements – cleared the test, learned a skill, completed the project.

• Celebration = positive reinforcement.

5. Support in Failures Too

• It is easy to support only in success, real friends lift up in failure too.

Example: A college group made a “No Gossip – Only Growth” rule with its 4 friends. Every lunch break they would spend their time either learning new business skills or sharing new skills with each other. Today every member of that group is doing his/her best in his/her field and they are still connected.

Conclusion – Call to Action

In the beginning I had shared a story – how Vivek lost his focus by choosing the wrong circle and how one day he realised how important it is to be with the right people. The truth is that one of the most important subjects in college is not in the syllabus – and that is the subject of friendship.

The right circle will push you, inspire you, and bring out the best version of yourself. The wrong circle will slow you down, distract you, and can sometimes even kill your dreams.

Ask yourself these questions today:

• Is my current circle making me better or worse?

• Do I feel motivated by openly sharing my goals with my friends?

If the answer is “no,” it’s time for a change.

“Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.” – John Kuebler

These 3–4 years of college are not just for a degree, they are for laying the foundation of life. Choose your circle wisely, because today’s friends will write your story tomorrow.

And if you want self-growth, career guidance, and study tips that can boost both your college life and career, do check out my YouTube channels:
📌 Edumentor Ashish – Motivation, Study Skills & Career Guidance
📌 Dr. Ashish Pathak Online – Pharmacy Education, GPAT/NIPER Preparation & Competitive Exam Tips

Stay focused on your goals, surround yourself with positive people, and keep moving toward your best version.
Remember: Right friends, right future.