How to Build Emotional Intelligence: A Practical Guide for Students

✨ A. “The Topper Who Failed Life”

Raghav was the star student of his school.

His brain worked faster than a computer, his marks were always full, and he was a perfect child for his teachers. Everyone used to say – “This boy will go very far in life.”

But when college life started… everything changed.

• The first time a teacher gave feedback on his presentation, his self-confidence was shaken.

• When other students were not cooperating in a group project, he got angry and started fighting with everyone.

• A breakup broke him so much that he went into depression.

A student like Raghav, whose IQ was at the top level… he could not handle the pressure. He was emotionally weak. Every small thing started affecting his mood.

What was the problem? He studied everything in school – Maths, Science, Grammar…

But he never studied subjects like how to understand, manage or accept one’s emotions. He had IQ, but did not have EQ (Emotional Quotient) –

that hidden skill which is not found in the school syllabus, but is most useful in life.

Moral of the story:

Even today many students are like Raghav – intelligent, hardworking, talented – but they get defeated by emotions because they have never developed emotional intelligence. In this blog, we will talk about that invisible skill –

Emotional Intelligence: The Unseen Skill Every Student Needs.

💡 B. What is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional Intelligence (EI) or Emotional Quotient (EQ) means –

Understanding your emotions, controlling them and also feeling the emotions of others.

This is such a skill that makes you not just smart, but emotionally smart.

✅ Emotional Intelligence means your ability:

✔️ Understanding your emotions

Like – “Why am I angry?”, “Why is my mood off?” When you start understanding your emotions, then instead of being controlled by them, you start controlling them.

✔️ Managing your reactions

If someone criticizes you, instead of exploding immediately, think calmly – “Is this a valid point?”

Developing impulse control – this is emotional maturity.

✔️ Recognizing the emotions of others

Sometimes a friend does not say anything, but you understand by looking at his face that he is sweet.

This is part of empathy – and it is very useful in friendship, teamwork, and communication.

✔️ Handling relationships intelligently

Do not fight or misunderstanding over small things, but make connections intelligently – This is also part of EQ.

❌ Emotional Intelligence does not mean “being emotional”! Many people have this misconception.

Being emotionally smart means:

Do not let your emotions control you, but use them in life and decisions by understanding them.

Emotional Intelligence is a skill that is neither taught in exams nor appears in the report card – but this skill helps you overcome exam pressure, life failures, and challenges of real-world relationships.

🎯 C. Why EQ Matters More Than IQ in Student Life?

In school or college, we are always told – “Get good marks, top, be smart.”

But just getting marks, having high IQ, or memorizing the syllabus is not enough. In today’s time, if you don’t know how to handle stress, maintain relationships, and bounce back from failures – then no matter how intelligent you are, you will face challenges in life.

✅ Benefits of having EQ (from a student’s point of view):

📌 1. Better Focus & Stress Control

Exam is near? Pressure has increased? High EQ student does not panic. He manages his stress and makes plans calmly.

📌 2. Stronger Relationships & Teamwork

In college life, one has to deal with group projects, roommates, classmates, etc. A high EQ student understands that everyone’s mood and nature is different. He works with empathy – that’s why his connections are strong.

📌 3. Less Anxiety, More Mental Peace

When you start understanding your emotions, small things do not disturb you. It becomes easier to overcome comparison, fear of failure, or loneliness.

📌 4. Better Decision-Making

Not impulsive decisions – learn to make logical and emotionally balanced choices. Whether it is a career decision or a relationship decision, EQ helps in clear thinking.

📌 5. More Resilience – Learning from Failure

Failed? Got rejected?

A high EQ student does not give up, but learns. He grows from the situation – and emerges stronger.

“IQ helps you pass exams, but EQ teaches you to win life.”

🧭 D. 5 Core Components of Emotional Intelligence (Daniel Goleman Model)

Daniel Goleman — a well-known psychologist has divided Emotional Intelligence into 5 basic parts.

All these parts are useful in real life, especially in student life.

📌 1. Self-Awareness (Understanding yourself)

“What am I feeling and why?”

• Identifying your emotions

• Understanding the reason behind your mood

• Having a clear idea of your strengths and weaknesses

🎓 Example: If you are irritated, then understand the reason for it – “Am I tired?” or “Did someone’s words hurt you?”

🧠 Self-aware students don’t run away from their emotions, but rather understand them.

📌 2. Self-Regulation (Tips to React)

“I will not react, I will respond wisely.”

• Impulse control

• Managing emotions like anger, frustration, jealousy

• Staying calm and composed, especially in tough situations

🎓 Example: If a teacher scolds you or a friend ignores you, handle it with patience instead of exploding immediately.

🧠 Self-regulation = Emotional maturity

📌 3. Motivation (Driven from within)

“I have to study for growth, not for marks.”

• Being inspired by oneself

• Being consistent even after failure

• Accepting short-term struggle for long-term goals

🎓 Example: You got low marks in a test, but instead of getting demotivated, make a better plan.

🧠 Students with EQ work on internal motivation instead of external pressure.

📌 4. Empathy (understanding the emotions of others)

“I can understand how he must be feeling.”

• Feeling the emotions of others

• Seeing things from their perspective

• Understanding and supporting without judgment

🎓 Example: If a friend is upset, ask him – “Is everything okay?” without forcing him.

🧠 Empathy works like magic in both friendship and teamwork.

📌 5. Social Skills (Dealing with people in a positive way)

“I can easily connect with people.”

• Effective communication

• Conflict resolution

• Collaboration and building bonding

🎓 Example: Involve everyone in a group project, listen to everyone, and keep the team balanced.

🧠 Socially smart students become leaders — not bossy.

🧩 SUMMARY CHART:

Component	What It Means	Why It Matters for Students
1. Self-awareness	Knowing your emotions	Helps you know why you feel demotivated or angry
2. Self-regulation	Managing your impulses	Helps avoid procrastination, anxiety, overreaction
3. Motivation	Inner drive to keep going	You study not for marks, but for purpose
4. Empathy	Understanding others’ emotions	Builds better friendships and teamwork
5. Social skills	Handling relationships effectively	Improves communication and conflict resolution

🛠️E.  5 Practical Ways to Build Emotional Intelligence in Daily Life

✅ 1. Start writing a Feelings Journal

“Spare just 5 minutes at night… and write – How was your day emotionally today?”

🖊️ At the end of every day, write 3 simple questions:

• What did I feel today?

• Why did this emotion come?

• How did I react?

🎓 Example: “I felt ignored. Maybe that’s why I got hurt a bit. But I didn’t react.”

🧠 Benefits:

• You slowly start understanding your emotions.

• Self-awareness and regulation both improve.

✅ 2. Name it to tame it – name the emotion

“When you feel angry, or anxious – say: ‘I am angry.’ Just saying this is enough to win half the battle.”

🧠 Research says:

Name the emotion = gain control over it

🎓 Example:

Instead of “I’m fine…” say: “I’m feeling low right now, but it’s okay.”

✅ 3. Learn to take a pause before reacting

“When something bad happens… don’t react immediately.”

🧘 Breathe. Count backwards: 5 – 4 – 3 – 2 – 1

Then think calmly – what do you want to say, what do you want to do?

🎓 Example:

If someone made a bad comment in WhatsApp group – instead of replying immediately, wait. Think. Maybe ignoring is a better solution.

🧠 Benefit:

You will avoid impulsive reactions. Long-term respect and maturity will be built.

✅ 4. Empathy walk – think in other people’s shoes

“When you get angry with someone or don’t understand what they are saying – wait for a second and think: ‘What is he feeling?’”

🎓 Example:

If a friend didn’t help you, think – is he himself under some stress?

🧠 Benefit:

Judgement will be less, understanding and bonding will increase.

✅ 5. Create a support system – don’t live alone

“Emotional intelligence does not mean that you live everything by yourself.” Keep 1-2 such people (friend, mentor, teacher) with whom you can honestly share your feelings.

🎓 Example:

“Sir, I feel I am under pressure of comparison. How should I handle it?”

🧠 Benefit:

You will feel emotionally light, and your confidence will also be boosted.

📌 Bonus Habit:

Gratitude Practice — Write down 3 things every day and night for which you are thankful. This simple habit will increase both your positivity and emotional balance.

⚖️ F. EQ vs IQ – Real-Life Examples in Student Life

📌 Situation 1: Low Marks in Exam

• 🧠 High IQ Student:

“I made a mistake… now everything is over.” Will overthink, blame himself, will get demotivated.

• 💡 High EQ Student:

“What mistake did I make, I will learn from it. Next time I will make a better plan.” Remains calm, takes failure as feedback.

📌 Situation 2: Breakup or Friendship Issues

• 🧠 High IQ Student: Gets sad, isolates himself, studies are also affected.

• 💡 High EQ Student: Accepts his emotions, talks to a close friend or mentor, and gradually heals.

📌 Situation 3: There was a fight in the group project

• 🧠 High IQ Student: “I will do everything, I don’t need anyone.”Will work on ego, will get cut off from others.

• 💡 High EQ Student: Listens to everyone, calmly clears misunderstandings, and maintains teamwork.

📌 Situation 4: Teacher Criticized

• 🧠 High IQ Student: Gets hurt, considers criticism as a personal attack.

• 💡 High EQ Student:

See feedback as a chance for growth. Thinks, “Next time, I will do better.”

📌 Situation 5: Comparison With Others

• 🧠 High IQ Student: Feels jealous, gets frustrated.

• 💡 High EQ Student:

Uses comparison as a healthy competition, and focuses on his own progress.

💭 Final Thought:

“IQ can get you a good job, but EQ makes you a good person, a good friend, and a good leader.”

🧠 Final Words: Why Every Student Must Develop Emotional Intelligence. Today’s students are not just bearing the burden of syllabus — they have to handle:

• Peer pressure

• Fear of failure

• Comparison on social media

• Relationship struggles

• Career confusion

• Parents’ expectations

Emotional Intelligence acts as a shield to fight all these. If you are emotionally strong, then:

✅ You are not afraid of failure, you learn

✅ You do not break relationships, you take care of them

✅ You do not break under pressure, you grow slowly

🌱 *“Understanding emotions is not a sign of being weak… It can become your biggest strength.”*

✍️ Journal Prompt (Call to Action)

Take just 5 minutes tonight — and write the answers to these 3 questions in your journal or notebook:

1️⃣ Which emotion did I feel the most today?

2️⃣ How did I deal with that emotion?

3️⃣ Can I react more sensibly next time?

If this becomes a habit with consistency, then your Emotional Intelligence will become natural.

🎯 Final CTA

How strong is your Emotional Quotient?

If you want, I can also create a FREE EQ Self-Assessment Tool – comment “INTERESTED” and your mail id, and I will send it to you! Or again:

📩 Have you faced any situation where your Emotional Intelligence saved you? Share your story in comments or if you want any related guidance, write me at edumentorashish@gmail.com

You can also visit: Edumentor Ashish

Dr. Ashish Pathak Online